adolescent

(song 1 on the album Otherwise Bleak eXistence):

i didn't understand the rules
the teachers taught me that i was a fool
they couldn't make me understand
what it means to be a man

now i'm all grown up and i can't complain
really got it made but i'm not quite sane
this rite of passage has made me strong
but it took my sense of right and wrong

well i wanted to know
how a river could form from the cold white snow
and i tried to believe
that there's a god above who's smiling down on me

what is real
and what are all these feelings i feel
what is true
and which are the lies they're telling me and you

when i go to a party i'm the freak in the corner
standing alone like he's something other
and in my silence i can hear the chatter
filling the room but somehow leaving it flatter

see i tried hard to be
the magnet in the center of that gravity
but now i'm pulling away
to a faraway place where i can dream all day

what is pain
and what are all these thoughts in my brain
what is love
could there be a hell below and heaven above
what is now
is it just a place and everyone around
where to go
i guess i'm still a little child who just don't know